Banks, Iain - Culture 03 by Banks Iain

Author:Banks, Iain
Language: eng
Format: epub

CHAPTER ONE

Bang!

CHAPTER TWO

sssss

CHAPTER THREE

crunch.

THE END

XI: The Precise Nature Of The Catastrophe

WELCUM TO THE FEWTCHIR makes yer makes yer fink makes yer course that labour lot would just makes yer fink makes yer na it's true I read it in the paper (sic) RED MENACE makes yer fink SPENDING na don't scratch it it'll never get better (sick) march right in march march march right in makes yer fink course there'll be spin-offs KILL AN ARGIE AND WIN A METRO I sed go for it honey KILL A look after number one and KILL A you got ta defend yourself KILL A KILL A fst fd KILL KILL KILL A COMMIE AND it makes you kicked im in the kidnie machines ATTENTION: you got ta SPENDING MORE defend yourself got ta defend your CHALLENGER BOMBS

CHERNOBYL WITH LASER GUIDED AIDS self, SEVENTY-THREE SECONDS OVER CAPE

CANAVERAL TWELVE MINUTES OVER TRIPOLI ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS

OVER NORTHERN EUROPE, intya?ATTENTION: oh well scratch another power station scratch another planet fst fd I sed ARMING intya?GROWTH without INDUSTRY without due GROWTH

GROWTH GROWTH INDUSTRY without due care and SPENDING MORE THAN you got ta defend SPENDING MORE THAN EVER defend your Tax Free GROWTH INDUSTRY without due care and ATTEN TION:ARMING SEQUENCE ta defend yourself, intya? just let them Rushins ATTENTION:ARMING SEQUENCE INITIATED fst fd Course fst fd you got ta defend yourself fst fd NO ONE LIKES TO THINK the curtains closed all day fst ds ATTENTION (homeowners only) NO

ONE LIKES you got ta NO ONE LIKES TO (Intrusion:) you got ta ATTENTION:Will not damage carpets ATTENTION:I said ATTENTION: fst fd ATTENTION: fst fd ATTENTION:NO ONE

LIKES TO defend your SPENDING MORE THAN EVER BEFORE self, intya?I sed go for it ATTENTION:ATTENTION:ATTENTION:Message Ends defend defend defend yourself, intya? you got ta defend you - ullo, wot's that bright l-?ATTENTION:

[EMP]

(sssss)

XII: The End

THE END

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Footnotes

1:Just a less precise re-statement of Sturgeon's Law. - 'The Drone'

2:About ten thousand, of course.Ms Sma's mental arithmetic never was too hot. - 'The Drone'

3:This is an extremely strained translation, but it's the best available.- 'The Drone'

4:Effectively untranslatable. - 'The Drone'

5:Another tricky one.Ms Sma keeps on using words there is no direct English equivalent for. - 'The Drone'

6:Sma refuses to choose between British English and American English.This would be 'randiest' in British English. - 'The Drone'

7:The word Sma insists upon using is exactly midway in meaning between 'common' and 'vulgar'.Take your pick. - 'The Drone'

8:I think this jars abominably, but herself disagrees. - 'The Drone'

9:Ms Sma is confusing matter transmission (sic) with trans-dimensional displacement of a remotely induced singularity.I despair. - 'The Drone'

10:Actually, Sma was talking to a ship-slaved tray carrying drinks, but she thinks it sounds silly to say she was talking to a tray. - 'The Drone'

11:The following speech - sourced from theArbitrary 's own files - has been rendered as accurately as possible.Mr 'ndane's grammatical eccentricities are difficult to reproduce in English. - 'The Drone'

12:I thought the phonetic equivalent was better than something strained like 'horsoid'. - 'The Drone'

13:See; I told you.

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